Looking For Love

Life is like a Treasure Hunt

We are always on the search for something… something to eat, something to do, something to see, something to feel… We want to be fulfilled and conquer each challenge as if we have seized the day! We want joy and courage and satisfaction that our goals have been met.


Whether you think about the structure of your day and write out your plans, or just breeze through life one day at a time, all us of still hope to get something out of each day before it passes.

From small goals like lunches with our friends or taking our kids to the park to enjoy the sunshine, to larger goals like finding a job or closing that big deal, we are always on the search. From earning that huge commission, and yes, even finding our true love, we are searching every day.

Why Can’t I Find Love? People who say “It isn’t easy,” are trying too hard! Relax and enjoy the journey. Everywhere you go and everywhere you look, people are falling in love. It is happening all around you, in the big cities and the small towns, across the street and across the river, and even online!

How Do I Find Love?

Trying to find that special person who fulfills your ideals and wishes and fits into your life is just like other goals. You need to decide your strategy and set up smaller tasks or mini-goals to reach your main objective.


First, you will need to evaluate your feelings  and the energy that you are projecting out to the world around you. You have to be open to let people in. Feeling confident about who you are and what your feelings are about yourself is important to allow other people to get to know you and like you. (also read Loving Yourself).

It would be very difficult to go up and start talking to strangers if you are not sure of yourself or not sure what you should say. Confident people can go up to anybody and start a conversation. If you have difficulty striking up a conversation, you might want to practice by saying hello to people.

Standing in line at the grocery store, for example, you can comment on how tasty something looks… once people respond and start talking, you have their interest and anything can happen from there!

Also notice when a stranger makes a comment to you… maybe they are are hoping to make a connection with you. Take that cue and reply to them. Maybe ask them a question to keep the conversation going. Speak up and be confident!

Where Can I Find Love?


Next, you need to venture outside of your comfort zone  and interact with people at different events and in different places. Allow yourself time to be available in social settings. Your true love is not going to come knocking on your door and leave a business card (the local gardener looking for work does not count!). Make every day a new adventure and participate in life.


Get involved in your community to find new interests and attend fun activities. Art Classes to the Zoo! From A to Z, the list is endless… Book clubs, hiking clubs, cycling clubs and running clubs. Festivals and Fairies. Greek Festivals, Beer Festivals, Ice Festivals, and Wine tasting events.

Sporting events like football games, baseball games, join a bowling league, learn golf. Educational classes. Yoga classes, dance classes, cooking classes.

Volunteer for charities, animal shelters, hospitals, political campaigns. Volunteer for the historical society or local museums. Be involved with your church. Go to book stores, grocery stores, restaurants, the gym. Take walks in parks or malls or at the beach. Take your dog for a walk. Have fun on your treasure hunt!


Also, for those of you who want a larger circle of friends to choose from,  your true love is not going to find you among the millions of other singles out there if you don’t actually sign up on one of the many online dating sites. Dare to try something you haven’t done before.  Just remember you will get out of it what you put in to it, so tell the truth.

Does Everybody Need Love?

Everybody wants love. Don’t worry if “this could be the one” every time you meet someone. Everybody wants love and is looking for love, too. Yes, everybody needs love, too. And it really is just a numbers games, the more people you meet and get to know, the larger your circle of prospective friends and lovers will be.

Your goal should be meeting people and finding friends.  How often have you heard about a couple being friends for a long time before love blossomed? It happens when you least expect it because you are not looking and searching and obsessing…  Let go and let love find you!

How Do You Know When You Love Someone?

How do you know if you really love someone? It is easy to know if you like someone, if you have the same interests and ideals, if you laugh at the same things or have the same pet peeves….

But when you love someone, it is a game changer! You think about them all the time! You almost can’t NOT think about them!

You think about where they are or what they must be doing, you wonder if they are thinking about you, too? You think about all the things you want to tell them as soon as you see them again.

You’re daydreaming way too much. You start making plans in your head about things you want to do together or places you want to go… anticipation builds and it is exciting! You miss them while you are apart and you relish your time together. This must be love!


Don’t confuse love and lust! If you are only thinking about your new love interest in a physical manner, that is lust. If all you really want is some skin-to-skin contact, that is lust. Real love is wanting to connect mentally and emotionally…

You can’t wait to talk to them! You want to tell them everything! You want them to be happy regardless how that effects you. Real love is not obnoxious and it is not obsessive. You want to be with them, not control them. You can let them go, if that’s what makes them happy. When their health and well-being matters more than your own, when their happiness matters more to you than your own happiness, that’s love!

And Smile! Love Is Coming Your Way!

P.S.  I welcome your comments, please post below.

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6 thoughts on “Looking For Love

  • May 12, 2017 at 4:31 am

    Hi Darla,

    I love your advice and will start taking some of these steps. I am also in the belief to let love find you. Love the saying about “falling!”


    • May 12, 2017 at 8:17 pm

      When people get discouraged about finding love, it is because they are too focused on looking and searching for something… someone. It’s best to be involved in your own life, your own interests. As you pursue those things you love, you find other people who are also pursuing their interests, their desires, and their loves. So it goes, with all that love energy circling around, people fall in love. It’s kismet.

  • May 17, 2017 at 4:30 am

    I agree! Confidence is a very attractive quality. I don’t think it means you have to an extrovert, just not worry so much about what others think, and just be yourself. I also agree with expanding your circle of friends. They won’t all be “the one”, but ending up with lots of interesting friends is great too.

    • May 18, 2017 at 9:26 pm

      Hi Amanda, it is so important to be yourself and the right one will rise to the surface. To pretend to be someone you’re not is only tricking yourself. Love will not thrive in a phony relationship. Thank you for stopping by… I’m always looking for new friends! Love, Darla

  • May 29, 2017 at 4:27 am

    Hi Darla,
    Love your advice and suggestions. Very thorough list of ideas. I think singles can really benefit from your suggestions because of such a great variety of ideas you offered. It’s just a matter of getting out there and doing it.

    I tried eHarmony as well about 8 years ago and I can say that I felt all the people that they matched me up with were very compatible and seemed like “my kind of people”.

    But for sure, if you want love or just to start dating you got to go out in the world with a smile on your face and a positive vibe.

    Also, you nailed it, you got to love yourself.

    Great stuff, thanks for writing this post.

    • May 30, 2017 at 11:32 pm

      Thanks so much, Todd 🙂 I really appreciate your comments. I think everyone deserves love and we can all find love once we change our own energy. People are not drawn to negative people or negative energy, so if we can adjust our vibration to love and happiness that comes from within ourselves, we find it on the outside as well. And the wonderful thing is that it doesn’t have to take a long time; it can happen suddenly!
      Love, Darla


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