Begin with loving you!
Get comfortable with yourself and foster confidence in yourself. Get real with your feelings about your likes and dislikes – about everything – from your body and your looks, to your interests and motivations, to your job or career, and your interactions with people.
If you don’t already like yourself or who you are becoming, you must change what you can and learn to accept what you can’t change.
Time to face the facts: If you don’t love yourself, how do expect someone else to love you?
How Do You Start Loving Yourself?
Do you know what you like about your face or your body? Can you make a list real quick off the top of your head? Or do the things that you don’t like pop up instead? Do you start feeling the angst of the things you wish you could change?
Everyone is so different and unfortunately we spend so much time with ourselves that often the only things we see anymore are the things we don’t like.
Time to make a shift in your thinking.
I want you to have a talk with yourself in the mirror. Take a serious look at yourself and find the things that you do like about yourself. Have a talk with yourself about how all this self-doubt has only prevented you from being yourself — and enjoying yourself! Your eyes, your smile, everything about your face shows off the unique spirit inside of you!
You are beautiful! Make a promise to yourself right now that you will stop all the negative self-talk.
A NOTE TO THE GIRLS
Girls, I will let you in on a little secret: Guys do not see any of the visual flaws you have allowed to haunt your thoughts. Guys are certainly visual creatures and may act stupid around pretty girls, but girls are girls. They have curves in all the right places. When guys take a look at someone, they look immediately for the clues that make them girls or guys.
The curves of the cheekbones when girls smile also makes their eyes sparkle. Guys also see the curves of the shoulders or the torso, they see curves in the legs and the calves, and of course they see the curves of our breasts & butts. They see the curves that girls have, and guys don’t have, so they just get excited that it’s a girl. But they don’t see the flaws! They don’t see the flaws until you point them out – so don’t do that! Drop all the negative self-talk and start inspiring yourself. Start loving yourself!
A NOTE TO THE GUYS
For the guys, know that girls are not hung up on looks all the time. Girls need to make an emotional connection. You need to be a good storyteller and engage your audience. Show an interest in them, don’t be a know-it-all. Talking and listening is important to girls. Smelling good is high on the list, too, especially when you go in for that kiss! So make sure you’re clean, your clothes smell clean, and you have fresh breath! This applies to ALL ages.
And don’t be cocky! Don’t be a show-off or try to impress someone by belittling someone else. Be kind, be attentive, but most of all, be yourself.
Things You Can Change vs.
Things You Can’t
The physical things about your body are totally up to you. Doesn’t matter if you think you are too skinny or too fat or you just don’t like your hair. If there is something about your body that you wish you can change – Do it!
You can change your hair color or style, you can eat nutritiously and check the portions, you can get up off that couch or out of the chair and add some exercise or activity to your day. Only you can make that kind of change for yourself. And only you can make that shift in your thinking to make that change.
Start now. If you try to tell me all the excuses why you can’t change your body or your looks, I will tell you to go have a talk with yourself in the mirror. Get serious with yourself because only you will be able to convince yourself that it is time for a change.
Time to change your thoughts. And if you really don’t want to change, if you are still going to let excuses rule you, then you have to accept those things that you are not willing to change. Accept those things and no longer think about them, or dwell on them, or worry about them. If it is just too hard or not worth your time, then on to other thoughts that will benefit you. On to other dreams.
I have to add a disclaimer here about changes via plastic surgery. My focus for this article is accepting yourself or doing something for yourself to make a difference – without intervention from someone else. The point is don’t be lazy! For people with weight/body issues, you have to start with yourself and your own thinking – you have to decide to make that change for yourself – no one else can do that for you.
If you are not ready to make that change (I did not say go see a plastic surgeon!) then it is time to accept Yourself for You. Spend your time thinking about other things that are more productive. While I do not encourage plastic surgery, I will not discount it for the people that feel they need it or want it. They need to decide for themselves – and then move on – without worrying about what other people are thinking. I am pro-happy people!
You Decide Who You Are
Your emotional well-being is up to you also! Do you listen to your intuition? Do you know what excites you and makes you come alive? It certainly isn’t any of the self-doubt or self-destructive talk going on inside your head. You may not be able to control what life throws your way, but you do get to choose how you will react to people or events in your life.
You get to decide for yourself. If someone else is speaking about you in a negative way, you don’t have to listen. Don’t listen to the garbage some people say when they try to label you. You’re ugly, or you’re fat, or you’re stupid. Those are things people say about other people so that you don’t notice THEIR flaws. Ask them if they have looked in the mirror lately! No, just kidding.
Be your own best friend and be kind. Don’t replicate the behavior you don’t like, ignore that and be better. Be better for yourself.
As Abraham Lincoln told us, “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds up to be.”
You can’t control someone else’s actions, but you can control your reaction. You can choose to be open and learn from your environment and what direction you will go in next. The alternative is to be discouraged and depressed… but don’t conform to someone else’s opinion of you!. You do you.
Start With Gratitude
Start by changing the way you think. Start every morning when you wake up by evaluating your life. Think about the people in your life that you love, the ones that make you feel good inside and make you feel good about yourself… the ones that make you smile. Think about all the things in your life that you are grateful for… Do not underestimate gratitude.
Gratitude is a very powerful force. By allowing yourself to feel grateful, even for the smallest things, you begin to let the negative feelings fall behind. Then the things you want in your life can come to the surface.
You can begin to think of new ways to move towards the things you desire and take the steps to reach your goals. You will see a shift in people and events around you, too. You begin to realize it is possible to achieve your dreams.
Start every afternoon, too, in the middle of the day. Take a moment to close your eyes and practice gratitude again. Take a breath in and out, and just pause to feel the air going in and out of your body. Feel the oxygen giving your body life, relaxing you. Dismiss your stress and move on.
Start every evening after dinner or before bed. Keep starting throughout the day until you make it a habit to feel grateful for your body, for your mind, for your life, for your experiences on earth! Let it resonate inside of you and around you. Gratitude will give you inner peace to help you through tough times.
Then Comes Hope
Be in control of your thoughts. Hope propels you forward while fear holds you back. People get through the worst of times (death, destruction, disease – even when it is affecting their closest loved ones) by making a decision to stop dwelling in the past.
Hope gives you inner strength to get you through difficult situations. It doesn’t do any good to wonder if you could have changed anything to have altered the outcome. No, let me tell you, you can’t change what has already happened. Yesterday is history.
But tomorrow is coming! You have to resolve to stop thinking about the present situation, too. Today has already been born. It is already a reality. It is already happening.
Make a conscious decision to look ahead and concentrate instead on the possibilities of what is yet to come. Train your brain to imagine your desires coming true. And know anything is possible!
Allow yourself to feel hopeful…Visualize a better future for yourself…
Smile and Dream On!!
P.S. I welcome your comments, please post below.